Personal on Kevin Gomes

Vulnerability, Connection, and People

Sat, 25 Oct 2025 00:00:00 +0000

For that dash represents all the time that they spent life on Earth.
And now only those who loved them
know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not how much we own,
the cars, the house, the cash.
What matters is how we live and love,
and how we spend our dash.

– The Dash by Linda Ellis

Every individual life is built from countless stories of paramount joy, inexplicable anguish, and rare moments of sober clarity. Overcome by the seemingly tantamount burdens of daily obligations, we close ourselves off to our own stories. We forget the vast valleys of mediocrity we pulled ourselves out of. Baked in those memories are characters who have significantly shaped our character and brought us immense joy.

Feelings Are Hard to Share

Sat, 23 Nov 2024 00:00:00 +0000

I’m really into Stoicism. In fact, I gave a speech about to my graduating class in high school. So when I saw the Marcus Aurelius quote on the first day of Leadership and Personal Development, my eyes lit up. The philosophy taught me to push myself physically and mentally and to not complain about adversity because I internalized the idea that hard times build character. However, not complaining about obstacles meant that I kept a plethora of feelings to myself. Negative emotions and hurtful thoughts. I thought I was taking complete ownership over them by holding on to them and using self-coaching strategies to mitigate their effects, but they inevitably leaked into my behavior and harmed my outlook.

Stop One Heart from Breaking

Sun, 22 Sep 2024 00:00:00 +0000

If I Can Stop One Heart from Breaking
By Emily Dickinson_
If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain_

I wasn’t expecting to have a deep conversation about life on my way back home from SFO after a weekend in LA. My Afghani Uber driver was particularly determined to make it in America, notably in the expensive hellhole that is the Bay Area. Despite our age difference, he stumped me with a plea for advice as we approached my driveway: “As a well-educated person, what advice can you offer me?”

Justice

Sat, 06 Jul 2024 00:00:00 +0000

The discussions emerging from the recent debate between Trump and Biden have not been about immigration, their stances on China and Russia, inflation, civil rights, or anything resembling policy. Rather, they have been about the uneasy performance of our current president.

Americans today are choosing between a man with a questionable cognition and one who threatens decades of progress made on the ideals laid out in the Constitution.

People are increasingly losing trust in the political process. At least in the circles I hang around in, people speak of the law from a distance, viewing new legislation as firm decisions without any sense of ownership or a realization of the consequences that society may bear.

Making Something Wonderful

Sat, 29 Jun 2024 00:00:00 +0000

At the dawn of the age of computing, one man was launching products that caused step-function transformations across numerous industries - personal computing, music, education, filmmaking etc. Having started Apple by first building computers in his garage, Steve Jobs went on to lead world-class teams that created the first Macintosh, iPod, iPad, and iPhone. To most people’s surprise, he was also pivotal in taking Pixar off the ground, initiating an era of powerful storytelling through 3D computer graphics.

A Recalibration

Sun, 09 Jun 2024 00:00:00 +0000

Much has transpired in the two year hiatus I’ve taken from this blog. Here’s just to name a few:

I spent another winter in Bangladesh and returned less fulfilled than the previous time.
Tried BJJ for half a year and submitted a guy with an arm bar. He went on to offer me my first internship.
Had my heart broken then went on to date her.
Got a C in my tapeout class but landed an internship in the CPU team at Apple.

Reflecting On A Month in Portugal

Mon, 08 Aug 2022 00:00:00 +0000

I spent 4 weeks in Portugal studying abroad, the first being in Lisbon and the following 3 weeks in Porto. I participated in the European Innovation Academy, an entrepreneurship program that hosted keynotes by Silicon Valley professionals and required students to build and develop a startup in teams of 5.

What went well?

Finding a great team

Mati, Francesca, Pol, and Jachym are the best people I could be spending most of my 3 weeks in Porto with. Signing onto Teamo on Day 0 after being charmed with this Irish man in his shades was the single best decision I made. There were lunch meeting when I didn’t feel comfortable speaking up but otherwise I felt welcome in their presence. They all valued my contributions, however little that may have been in terms of ideas and tangible results. As the youngest in the group, they acted as proper mentors and friends, sharing stories and insights while being eager to spend time with me out in restaurants, bars, and escape rooms. They were hard-working, passionate, and just as playful in taking Teamo to the next level and succeeding in EIA. I found their company more fulfilling than that of the Berkeley cohort and accordingly gave them more of my time.

Flattering People Through Psychology

Sun, 26 Jun 2022 00:00:00 +0000

I’ve been reading psychologist and economist Daniel Kahneman’s highly influential book Thinking, Fast and Slow, a foundational work in behavioral psychology, decision-making, and the biases inherent to the mind. The book centers around the concept of System 1, the immediate and automatic part of our thought process responsible for intuitions and snap-judgements. While reading, I couldn’t help but find implications of Kahneman’s findings to the social domain. Whether it’s currying favor with a boss or impressing a love interest, there are gems in this book that can be valuable in scoring key social points. I’ve distilled the key insights in this post.

Waking Up by Sam Harris

Mon, 20 Jun 2022 00:00:00 +0000

The Book in 3 Sentences

Consciousness is the only undoubtedly real thing in the universe, and one’s relationship with its contents (thoughts, sights, emotions) determines the quality of their experience.
Religion is a flawed and acutely dangerous path to spirituality that must be replaced by a more experiential, rational approach to contemplation.
Constant identification with the contents of consciousness, namely thoughts, shapes the illusion of the self that is responsible for much of human suffering.

How I Discovered It

I’ve listened to several podcasts that Sam Harris has appeared in where he has mentioned this book. He frequently quotes passages in the Waking Up app too.

Lessons From a Week in NY

Sun, 19 Jun 2022 00:00:00 +0000

Family is integral to my life

The resiliency of a bond borne of shared blood has been made clear to me this year. I’ve spent the better part of my teenage years in contempt of the concept of family which I considered an arbitrary obligation thrust upon us, and was subsequently superficial. The warm acceptance of husbands and wives into our extended family has shown me otherwise. It isn’t so much the fact of biological relation that holds this dynamic intact; instead, it’s a culture of kinship and mutual affection for cousins and aunts and grandparents raised together that forms the scaffolding for this fulfilling set of relationships.

An Unstructured Summer

Thu, 02 Jun 2022 00:00:00 +0000

Not having to worry about filling in every hour beginning from the moment I wake up is a luxury I’m relishing this summer. College life has exhausted me in that respect. I don’t miss constantly having to time block for deep work at the library, then walk to the dining halls for my routine meals, and commute back to the library again to continue being productive.

It wasn’t even the case that I designed this routine to get stuff done. I actually feared having nothing to do. I feared that the mental space unlocked by a free schedule would give rise to demoralizing realities about my life that I wasn’t equipped to face.

Lasting Relationships

Mon, 30 May 2022 00:00:00 +0000

I was away for five years and four months. Deliberately ghosting scores of cousins, aunts, grandparents, and relatives I didn’t know I had, I finally returned to the land that bore fruit to me and my kin. For that long I stayed away from what I perceived to be holding me back from the inevitable currents of change.

For much of my teenage years, that rather selfish attitude underscored my unwillingness to reach out to those who held me eternally dear.

The Ultimate Toolkit for Physical Performance and Skill Acquisition

Sat, 21 May 2022 00:00:00 +0000

I’ve been listening to Huberman Lab since day one, when it was just Huberman and Costello speaking about sleep, light exposure, and ultradian cycles. Ever since, the podcast has included the likes of Andy Galpin, Lex Fridman, and Robert Sapolsky - some of the best educators in science.

I’ve taken extensive handwritten notes on some of the episodes in my worn-down pocket notebook. In this post, I will consolidate the tools and protocols I’ve gathered from the five episodes on optimizing the body for strength and skill acquisition with additional references for your enrichment. Hope you find value in this!

On Seeking the Awakening

Mon, 16 May 2022 00:00:00 +0000

Bored and on the search for a flashy hobby, I stumble across the Headspace app several years ago, letting Andy Puddicomb caress my mind for a few minutes each day. Back then, meditation was pursued for no extrinsic purpose; I only knew that it was somehow related to better emotional regulation and would enhance my daily experience in subtle ways.

It’s been over two years and I have since moved on to Waking Up which provides a deeper version of mindfulness meditation than Headspace, the latter being more accessible to those otherwise unfamiliar and sometimes averse to this traditional eastern practice. As a companion to his book Waking Up, Sam Harris takes the listener on a journey into the nature of consciousness, directing them to dispel the conventional sense of self and experience the open space of awareness.

The Almanac of Naval Ravikant

Sun, 05 Dec 2021 00:00:00 +0000

The Book in 3 Sentences

Society objectively reflects back the value that you provide it, and also the attitude with which you thrive in it.
Value independence above all else - independence from your internal monologue, the burdens of desire, the constraints of lacking leverage.
Being firm on the basics is far more important than having a surface-level knowledge of advanced topics; read the classics before any contemporary take.

How the Book Changed Me

I have become far more conscientious during my morning meditation, using some of the quotes from this book as prompts to notice when my mind wanders. I have also re-calibrated my current conception of a career path to value independence and accrue leverage through skills that would allow me to subsist beyond the confines of a company. Being a creator of sorts has been a distant goal for the past few months but now I’m more specific on what I need to aim for. The idea of starting a company feels within reach now. Valuing honesty, clarifying my values, being focused on my goals, and prioritizing action. Lastly, my ability to accept what’s not within my control has improved through Naval’s framing of the matter.

Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World by Haruki Murakami

Thu, 25 Nov 2021 00:00:00 +0000

What It’s About

Alternating between two distinct yet converging narratives, Murakami provides a multifacted piece on psychology, consciousness, and existentialism through a whirlwind of genres.

The protagonist, an unnamed divorced man in his thirties lives in isolation as a Calcutec - a specialized worker biologically altered to scramble datasets for privacy-seeking clients. He agrees to a gig without the knowledge of his organization, The System, for a reclusive biologist who is later revealed to be responsible for the discovery of the mind-altering procedure that allows Calcutecs to perform shuffling. After shuffling the biologist’s data, the narrator returns home with a mysterious skull that draws the attention of a safety inspector hired to steal it. This leaves the protagonist paranoid and even more intrigued by the skull which increasingly resembles that of a unicorn.

The Watchmen by Alan Moore

Thu, 28 Oct 2021 00:00:00 +0000

What It’s About

It’s New York in 1985 during the height of tensions concerning a potential nuclear fallout against Russia during the Cold War. Formerly known as the Comedian, Edward Blake has largely retired after the passage of the Keene Act which banned masked vigilantes. One day, he is thrown off a building, prompting Rorschach, a nihilist member of the Watchmen, to investigate this alleged mask-killer. During his quest, Rorschach is arrested after being framed for the murder of the retired villain to the Watchmen named Moloch. Dr. Manhattan leaves to Mars after being burdened by allegations of causing cancer and more so because of his breakup with Laurie Jupiter, the Silk Specter. Somewhat convinced of Rorschach’s concerns, Laurie and Dan Dreiberg (Nite Owl) eventually break him out of prison. Thereafter, Dan and Rorschach uncover Adrian Veidt’s (aka Ozymandias) role in the events that unfolded thus far and travel to Antarctica to confront him. After a failed attempt to neutralize Veidt, the two of them learn that he has unleashed a false alien invasion in New York, wiping out half the city. After a depressing conversation with Manhattan, Laurie returns with him to New York to find a city drenched in corpses and blood.

Thought Dump (June 21)

Fri, 02 Jul 2021 00:00:00 +0000

From Books

I powered through When Breath Becomes Air, a book that was as profound as I expected. It wasn’t so much Paul’s monologs on death but rather in finding meaning in his work as well as the relationships he fosters along the way. It is ultimately people he serves: his wife and parents at home, and comforting his patients and their families at work. It’s also the disturbing attitudes of anatomy students who don’t quite comprehend that they are working with real dead people that stands out.

What I've been listening to (May 21)

Tue, 01 Jun 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Stats for Spotify is my primary tool for tracking my listening habits.

Punk and hip hop really pumps my sets at the gym which my recent statistics reflect. Also, Machine Gun Kelly is simply bomb. Although his recent releases with Travis Barker are on a whole new level, his previous albums still hold up as quality rap.

last.fm

I like how Eminem is his own genre.

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Mon, 31 May 2021 00:00:00 +0000

The Book in 3 Sentences

Deep personal change occurs from the fundamental paradigms and principles from which attitudes and behaviors stem.
There must be a balance in producing results and maintaining that ability to keep producing (P/PC balance)
Growth is a function of mastering oneself and applying that internal stability to have a positive effect in the lives of others.

How the Book Changed Me

How my life / behaviour / thoughts / ideas have changed as a result of reading the book.

Dune by Frank Herbert

Fri, 02 Apr 2021 00:00:00 +0000

What It’s About

It is as much a work of fantasy and science-fiction as it is a coming-of-age novel. The protagonist, Paul, is introduced as an unsuspecting heir to the Duke of a planet but over the course of the novel, he assumes the role of a leader, prophet, military general, and father. The novel is largely a commentary on power, politics, and greed - all stemming from an intense covet for the melange spice of Dune. Enriching its world-building, Dune also delves into the ecology of Arrakis with vivid images of the monstrous sandworms and the stillsuits designed by the Fremen to retain the limited moisture of the planet.

The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene

Thu, 01 Apr 2021 00:00:00 +0000

The Book in 3 Sentences

All actions are done largely in self-interest and one should be aware of others’ intentions.
People operate on appearances, and those who can manipulate it come out on top
Respond according to the situation with deliberation and self-awareness

How I Discovered It

Robert Greene was one of Lewis Howes’ guests whose ideas (which I can’t exactly recall at the moment) resonated with me. As such, I was compelled to pick up this book with its enticing title.

The Ride of a Lifetime - Robert Iger

Thu, 01 Apr 2021 00:00:00 +0000

The Book in 3 Sentences

Instead of fearing the new, embrace it by being courageous, innovating, and escaping the shackles of the status quo.

It is crucial to recognize one’s pitfalls and not be overly consumed by a position of influence.

Treat others with honesty, integrity, and confidence, for which they will deliver extraordinary results.

How I Discovered It

I believe it was one of Ali Abdaal’s book videos that provided a brief introduction to this particular book. Seeing that it was readily available on Libby, I immediately picked it up. The fact that it’s about Disney was also quite appealing.