I’m really into Stoicism. In fact, I gave a speech about to my graduating class in high school. So when I saw the Marcus Aurelius quote on the first day of Leadership and Personal Development, my eyes lit up. The philosophy taught me to push myself physically and mentally and to not complain about adversity because I internalized the idea that hard times build character. However, not complaining about obstacles meant that I kept a plethora of feelings to myself. Negative emotions and hurtful thoughts. I thought I was taking complete ownership over them by holding on to them and using self-coaching strategies to mitigate their effects, but they inevitably leaked into my behavior and harmed my outlook.
Speaking about personal challenges and their incumbent emotions, and watching others do it well in my class taught me a healthy alternative. I tangibly felt the power of putting feelings into words, have them affirmed and explored by people who really care, and even impact them with my stories by inviting more vulnerability or making them feel included.
My life hasn’t been entirely transformed with this new behavior, but I’m beginning to see hints of greater depth in my relationships with my parents. Whenever I do express unsaid feelings, I now notice a lightness in my chest and an unfamiliar expanse in my mind. It’s still challenging for me to find the right words to express what goes on internally and have the confidence to admit those feelings. That’s what I plan to work on moving forward.
And lastly, I’m going to continue practicing Stoicism, but with an attitude matured by the wisdom gleamed from the many heart-to-heart conversations I’ve had in class.